Smackdown for 1/22

Oh Lord.

Batista’s spotlight intro is amazing. Did Finlay dye his hair for this match? Match is incredibly short, but it’s fun and Finlay eats punishment like a champ. Post match is quite violent also. Actually once Batista grabs the microphone and goes on about how ‘this is what I’m gonna do to everyone in the Rumble’, it’s by far the least violent looking of his attacks. Which is a bit strange. These two need maybe seven minutes together, I think that’d work for me.

More of Punk’s Straight Edge Jesus act. It’s still a really great act. This week they save young Serena, bringing her into the fold as Punk’s own personal Anne. Plenty of creepy goodness here.

Tag match, John Morrison and R-Truth against Chris Jericho and Drew McIntyre. Terrible. Really terrible. Boring and just oh fuck this I can’t finish the match. Next.

Pretty good women’s segment with, well, basically the entire division. I re-watched it. Yeah. It was good. I have no idea what in the fuck Michelle yelled before shoving the pig in Mickie’s face though. Not sure if the whole “Facial Abuse” look is really PG friendly, either. But a quality angle.

Cryme Tyme against Charlie Haas and Mike Knox’s Beard, I thought, had potential, but it started by JTG immediately running through his spots and then Kane runs out and savagely kills four men. So.

Holy shit, watching Matt Hardy and the Hart kids play wrestle is SO UNINTERESTING.

Main event interview is cool. Rey does his ‘I will never say die’ part well. Undertaker does his ‘literally a gateway into the Christian definition of Hell’ part well. Batista does his ‘I will go wherever I want and kill whatever I want’ thing well. This was a success. Not the best Smackdown though, great angles but where were the matches?

Best match: Batista/Finlay. Best angles: Punk saves Serena, ‘Taker and Rey have a stand-off, Mickie sticks up for herself and winds up on a throat fucking video shoot.